It’s because you don’t have big enough dreams.
I had considered saying “it’s because you don’t have a dream,” but the more I thought about it, I realized that most everybody has a dream of some sort. We are ambitious people and are made to create, cultivate, and rule over this Earth in a way that is good for us and glorifies God. This requires that we all have a desire to make an impact, a desire to work hard and achieve incredible feats for the Kingdom of God. So no, you do have a dream, you’ve just given up on it and traded it for a destructive myth.
Pornography has been proven to alter your brain in ways similar to drug addiction and alcoholism, affecting the prefrontal lobes of your brain in such a way that it will rob you of your willpower to do anything other than getting your next fix. This has had tragic consequences on individuals and families plagued by the false allure of pornography as countless people have traded in their dreams to live in an unrealistic fantasy-land of lust.
Men have more of a desire for a woman they will never be able to touch than the one laying in the next room. Women have considered the embrace of their husbands as inadequate and convinced themselves that what they need is to be wrapped in the bigger biceps they see behind the screen. Singles would rather comb through pages of explicit videos rather than the pages of their school books. Young boys consider themselves men based on what they’ve seen with their eyes and they toss away their youth by trying to grow up too fast. Young girls feel they don’t measure up to what a “true woman” is and grow up striving to meet impossible expectations of what they think they should look like. All these distractions keep us so preoccupied with ourselves and our image and our libidos that we have no energy to contribute to our dreams. Where our heads were once in the clouds, we’ve now plunged them straight into the muck.
This would change if you would begin dreaming again. What you need to defeat this temptation and to reclaim pornography’s hold on your ambitions and desires is to latch on to a cause that is greater than yourself, fall in love with it, and pursue it with all your might (Ecclesiastes 9:10). This pursuit should at first leave you with no time for pornography–you’re concerned about much more important matters. And after a bit of time, your desire for pornography will diminish. You will make progress towards your dreams, you will see the joy that you have been working towards is right beyond the horizon, getting closer; and you will no longer be satisfied with pseudo-romantic flights of fancy that will never come to fruition. You’ve tasted the sweetness of actual progress and the reality of the hopelessness of pornography sets in, making you more determined to deny it’s temptations and press on to something that you will actually be able to achieve.
Pornography offers only a temporary satisfaction, but eternal pleasures are at the right hand of the Father (Psalm 16:11). Pornography offers excitement and thrill, but one word from the Lord can set your heart ablaze (Luke 24:32). Pornography offers only a window into a world which you will never be able to experience, Christ has torn the veil that separates us from the True Reality (2 Corinthians 3:16). Pornography offers a temporary rush but refuses you intimacy and lasting fulfillment, however “no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly” (Psalm 84:11). Pornography is such a lousy substitute for what God has made available to us.
We are natural-born dreamers, destined to do great works for the Kingdom of God (Ephesians 2:10). When we lose sight of this purpose and exchange walking in the Light for sitting in the dim glow of a computer screen, our life, time, energy, resources, ambitions, hopes, and dreams are all completely wasted. We were meant for so much more than this. The cause of Christ is worth so much more than this.
For the sake of Christ, for the sake of your spouse, for the sake of your children, your church, your friends, your co-workers–for the sake of the world, dream big.
Also published on Medium.